The True Measure of Happiness

Most people would judge a person who is always smiling, laughing and giggling to be a happy and jolly person.  However, are the smiles and the laughter of a person enough for others to say that he is happy?  Happiness is more than smiling and showing a happy facade.  Remember, people are great pretenders.  Some individuals may be laughing or grinning on the outside, but in the inside, their hearts are crying and in pain.

Happiness is also not measured by the status in life that an individual is in.  Whoever said that the rich is happier than the poor and vice versa is wrong.  The feeling of being happy is relative and the ways to attain it is different for everyone.

What Is Happiness?

Almost every person has his or her own personal search or journey to find happiness.  Just like a pot of gold at the end if a rainbow, everyone tries to find it in different kinds of places, things, and people.

There is no actual and concrete definition of happiness (well, unless you philosophically define it as “the state of being happy”).  Each person has his or her own version of happiness.  What’s “happy” for one may still be “unhappy “for someone else, and what’s “unhappy” for someone else may already be great joy to another.

How to Be Happy

Perhaps the simplest and greatest way to lead a person to become happy is by letting go of one’s selfish desires.  By ceasing to think for oneself, one begins to be happy.  Sacrifice is a great step towards happiness.  Although most people would say that in order to be happy, they have to do a lot of things for themselves, buy numerous material things such as clothes, gadgets, houses, cars, etc., the greatest way to be happy is to learn that it is not in pleasing oneself that man becomes happy; it is by striving to please and serve others, to try and make other people smile, that would truly make a person happy.

The material things that bring us joy are only what we can call “superficial happiness”.  Admittedly, it brings us happiness, but not complete and absolute happiness.  Don’t go investing too much on material things because in the end, it’s what you do, the sacrifices that you made, the people that you love and love you are the ones who can truly determine your happiness

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Impossible is Just a Word

Everyone, at some point of his or her life, has dreamed of being somebody special, somebody big. Who hasn’t fantasized about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn’t dreamed of being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich, or successful, or happy with our relationships?

Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.

This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.

But you know what? Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.

The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can’t do this. It’s too hard. It’s too impossible. No one can do this.

However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.

Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does.

On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.

If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.

Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that that are ‘impossible for you to do.’

Now look at all the headers strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’

As of the items you wrote under things I could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’

As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible begin to seem possible after all.

You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic.

Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned.

On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.

Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Nothing could be truer. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be had work and discipline. But take note that that 1% has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one.

Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”? That is as true as it can be.

So dream on, friend! Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.

Remember Live Your Life By Choice Not By Chance….

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“A Better You”

Your 7 days program to self-improvement

I seem to lost count on how many times I’ve read and heard of celebrity marriages failing almost left and right. Not that I care (and personally I don’t), it seems strange that we often see movie and TV stars as flawless people, living the fairytale life of riches and glamour. I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality.

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite of how trivial it could get. But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self.

So what does it take to be a cut above the rest? Here are some of the things you can think and improve on that should be enough for a week.

1. Know your purpose
Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you’ll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time. A Better You.

This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. But there’s always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.

2. Know your values
What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2005 - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn’t align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.

The number shouldn’t discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.

3. Know your needs
Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it’s too late!

4. Know your passions
You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who has inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.

5. Live from the inside out
Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it’s hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. There’s sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.

6. Honor your strengths
What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.

7. Serve others
When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.

Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn’t always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.

Remember Live Your Live By Choice Not By Chance

Happy as You Want to Be

Almost everyone have heard the hit single ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to everyone. Bobby Mcferiin’s simple message surely made a lot of people by telling them not to worry.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

One of the better things ever said is - ‘The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change’, and in our life we have the power to make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too would change.

Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation and you might just get along with well with

Happiness is actually found in everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also more healthy.

To be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.

Happy as You Want to Be You can do this…..Being grateful is a great attitude.  We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.

News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people just can’t start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.

A religious connection is also recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations foster inner peace.

Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed  as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

Laugh and laugh heartily everyday.  Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -’Laughter is the best medicine’.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.

Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.

Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new everyday.  Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.

Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.

Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy.

And always remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, he says that, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Live Your Life By Choice not by Chance.

Self Confidence and Happiness

Self confidence is described as a positive state of being and is very important to achieve success. Learning to trust yourself is a key element: trust in your own attributes, your strengths, and your decision-making skills. And because we don’t really get everything we want in this world, self-confidence will also help you handle failure without breaking down.

Self Confidence is Faith

The very core of self confidence is faith. Believing in your own power to make things happen will provide you a real sense of self worth. Simply put, regardless of how tough the road to success is, you can gracefully overcome it if you have faith in yourself. This will provide you the feeling of self-worthiness, especially if you have finally reached your goals.

Self Confidence Is Finding Your Own Happiness

Being self confident is also all about discovering and doing what makes you happy. When you find where you are most at ease with your environment and your self, you become more a more efficient worker and level-headed thinker.

How to Live A Happy Life

• Live on purpose. Know why you continue living. Acknowledge them and find ways to make them alleviate your sense of well being. Find activities that will lift your morale, or things that will lead you to your real happiness.

• Find your happiness today. Why wait for someone to make you feel special and happy when you can find it today? Find happiness within you. After all, happiness all starts within yourself.

• Be responsible in running your life. As the adage says, ‘You are the captain of your own ship.’ Don’t let other people decide for you. Run your own life. Create emotions based from reality. You can find happiness by being responsible in your own actions and when failures come, you know no one to blame but you.

• Anticipate Happiness. Have a positive outlook in life. Having an optimistic attitude will help you find success and happiness all the more. The more you anticipate for good things to come, the more likely you can attain it.

• Act with Courage. Boldly take challenges and try to outsmart difficulties and challenges that may come your way. Be confident that despite of possible adversities, you will still manage to stand up a whole and a better person.

• Shape your connections. Try not to separate yourself from the others. There are times when being dependent with your friends helps a lot.

• Read and learn. Keep in mind that you also grow not only with the people you meet but also by the books that you read. Try to read inspirational books that showcase inspiring stories about success and happiness.

Try to find your own happiness and discover your inner self confidence. Take time to evaluate yourself and learn that happiness starts within you.

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Be Happy

People are worried all the time about every little thing in life. Come to think of it, is it really worth it? If you could change things around you would. But if you could not, the best way is to accept it and move on with life.

Try to be cheerful and happy and soon you would realize that life is not that bad at all. But how could one be happy?

Here are some great tips that teach you to be happy. Read on but promise to pass it on to others.

• Understand that simple things such as a bird’s song, cool air, sunshine, etc. could make you happy.

• Mingle with happy people – mix with those who are merry and joyous. You could catch it on if you have an open mind and spread it around you.

• Do not dwell in self-pity – wallowing in self-pity lowers your self-esteem and self-confidence. If you could take action be quick to correct troubling situations. If it is beyond you, you may just forget it and carry on your life with a happy outlook. Who knows what is in store for you in future? Be hopeful instead of drowning yourself in self-pity

• Love yourself – if you cannot love yourself it is difficult to love others.

• Laugh at adversity – who does not have problems in life? When you laugh at your difficulties, you would realize they become insignificant and you feel lighter

• Be healthy - good health is a great factor in making you happy.

• Believe that you deserve happiness – believe that happiness is your birthright and you deserve to be happy. It is after all your choice and no body could take it away from you if you choose to stick on to it.

• Engage in different kinds of activities than your usual routine – breaking the routine sometimes makes life interesting. Look into ways of changing your routing and you may enjoy it.

• Choose to be happy – you have the ability to take positive or negative approach to your issues. If you choose a positive approach, happiness is easy to reach.

• Develop a sense of gratitude - whenever you feel that you lack something in life remember all those things that you have in your life you could be thankful for such as a roof over your head, a decent family, your physical and personal strengths, etc. This should make you happy for what you have in your life.

• Avoid negativism – fill yourself with positivism that would make you see life in new colors and shades. You would see life with new eyes and bubbling energy. That is happiness.

• Learn to laugh at yourself – this is an excellent approach to life. Everyone makes mistakes. Your errors are only bad if you take them seriously. Just laugh at yourself if you err and your heart would lighten up.

Remember, it does not cost you a penny to be happy. Your life and your choice are at your hands. Isn’t that reason enough to be happy

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Laugh Your Way to the Top, and Make Others Laugh with You

Imagine a man—tall, dark, and handsome—with a dazzling smile, impeccable fashion sense, a hefty bank account, but humorless as a corpse. Alternatively, picture another, not quite as good-looking, not quite as rich, but funny as hell. Who do you think would attract more people to them if both were in the same room?

Perhaps the gorgeous guy would elicit a lot of attention at first. But good looks can only go so far in holding and keeping that attention. A great sense of humor can be a useful tool in endearing yourself to the crowd at large. It can break the ice among strangers and is a wonderful way to make friends. In some cases it can even be used as a powerful weapon. Humor, when unleashed with perfect timing, can be terribly disarming. To potential employers, it could mean a promising job offer for you. To the ladies, it is a massive turn-on, and you might as well be wearing a sign on your forehead that says, “Date me. You won’t be sorry.”

Wit is a sign of intelligence, and intelligence is very sexy and attractive. Like all other gifts and talents, however, not everyone is born with it. If you are one of the less endowed and humor-challenged, thankfully enough, there are ways to compensate. You can train yourself in the art of good humor by following these steps:

Read. Be aware of current events. Fill your head with things you can comment on, other than the weather, so that striking up a conversation wouldn’t be so daunting. Watch movies or shows with witty dialogue and commentary. Study how the actors and commentators deliver their lines. Learn from them. Do not copy them outright. Be original.

Timing is everything. Just a few seconds off and your attempt at flawless humor can get derailed in an instant. If your joke bombs, move on. Do not dwell on it. Do not prolong your agony, or worse, your listeners’ agony, by going into a lengthy dissertation about your intended punch line. Doing so will only worsen the situation and create an awkward atmosphere.

Know your crowd. Funny as you are, there is such a thing as inappropriate humor. If you’re speaking at a funeral, don’t launch into raunchy standup comic mode more fit for a stag party.

Do not resort to insulting and making fun of people as this is a surefire sign of weak humor and an even weaker mind. Unless, of course, the people in question are bumbling politicians and public figures who are just asking for it and who aren’t in any way related to any of your listeners, then by all means, fire at will. Focus on their misdeeds rather than flaws that can’t be helped. Say, “Looks like he’s winning the election. And looks like I’m moving to another country.” Don’t say, “That candidate is one ugly ^#@*!”

Be confident and be natural. Self-consciousness shows, believe it or not, and witty retorts don’t pack as much punch when you’re worrying too much about the manner of your delivery instead of just getting it out there in the open.

Practice. Stand in front of a mirror and talk to yourself. Forget about looking like a fool. This is a great way to get rid of your inhibitions and get comfortable with yourself. Think of it as a rehearsal of sorts. The more you do it, the more self-assured you’ll become. Remember, confidence—like wit and intelligence—is sexy, too.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at your own mistakes. Self-deprecating humor is actually quite charming and you can never go wrong with putting yourself down every once in a while. Use your common sense though. Don’t ruin the moment by saying something like, “I wet my bed till I was fifteen. Isn’t that funny?”

It is mentioned in the Koran, “He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.” We’re not promising you paradise, but at least it’s a start.

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How to Achieve a “Be Happy” Attitude in Nine Easy Steps

Everyone is always in pursuit of happiness. Maybe you have traveled far in seeking happiness, believing that it is to be found in the mountains of Tibet, when actually, it is within your reach. Below are some tips that will surely help you develop a happy attitude and see the true meaning of happiness.Realize Your Worth. Realize that you are just as important as any other person around. You are not just a tiny speck in this universe. Having a healthy self confidence and self worth makes you aware of your purpose in life. Once you know your life’s purpose, it will give you a sense of direction, which helps you sort out your life, and would eventually lead to contentment.

Find Contentment. Not settling for less is not a bad thing, but while you are on your journey in reaching your goals, don’t forget to be thankful for what you have now. Counting your blessings helps you to put things in perspective. A lot of people go through life wanting things, not knowing that it’s not the Lexus or the Rolex that will make one happy. See where the important things in life lie: your friends and family.Do the Things You Love. Doing the things you love would be sure to keep you in high spirits. Make it a point to treat yourself to doing the things you enjoy the most. It can be dancing, writing or catching the latest movie. No matter what it is, don’t stop yourself from enjoying life once in a while. Keep in mind that happiness is found in pure things. If your brand of indulgence involves waking up to a hangover or to being jittery and in need of your next “dose,” then you better ask yourself if that is the kind of “happiness” you want for yourself.

Take Time to Help. They say that “He who refreshes others, refreshes himself.” Helping doesn’t necessarily mean giving people stuff. Helping out may be as simple as providing a shoulder to cry on, or squeezing the hand of someone in distress. The best way to be happy is to make others so.Be with Happy People. Being with happy people surely does wonders for you. Being surrounded with lighthearted people helps you absorb their positive energy.Be Optimistic. Keeping a positive attitude towards life is a prime characteristic you must possess to achieve happiness. Teach yourself to be happy. The potential to be happy is in everybody, you just need to know how to bring it out in you. According to Psychologist Martin Seligman, each of us has the power to bring in real joy into our lives. Therefore, it is our choice to be happy or to wallow in loneliness and discontent. Be Thankful. Recognizing the people you have in your life makes you realize just how good life is. Just looking at your family and set of friends and knowing you have them through thick and thin are already reasons enough for you to be happy. You never have to look too far to find the happiness you’re searching for, because it is actually inside you. Your state of mind is the yardstick of just how happy you’ll be.

Live in the Present. If you keep on replaying your past, you will never get to enjoy the present. How can you move forward if you still keep looking back? Forget the painful things that happened in the past. Learn from them, but don’t let them hold you back from happiness.

Love Unconditionally. Nothing beats love in terms of giving joy. But “love” is not restricted to romantic love, it also involves the love of friends and family. Love is a a balm to the wounds of the soul. Unconditional love, they say, is the best kind of love anyone can give or receive. It is the kind of love where you expect nothing in return. Giving love unconditionally is hard, giving man’s bent to be self-centered. But do get altruistic sometimes. When you give, out of the abundance of your heart, when you move from the mental frame of giving instead of getting, it is when you will realize that life is sweet, after all.After all is said and done, remember, happiness is a state of mind.

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