Coming out to the world on your own is probably one of the most nerves wracking scenarios you need to experience. Overcoming shyness does not happen overnight, but like they say, practice makes perfect once you overcome your timidity. Read on and start the process of getting out of your nutshell now.
Look your best. Shop for the dress you have been eyeing for so many weeks, treat yourself to a salon or take time to fix your hair every morning so you look and feel great once you step out of your house. Looking your best will help boost your self-esteem. If you look good, you will feel good.
Rejection is normal. All people experience rejection. Even John F. Kennedy failed the bar exam twice before he passed. Failing is a part of life. So what if the organization you planned to join did not accept you? Even if they did, there will still be other organizations willing to accept you. Being turned down does not mean that you have to down yourself by making yourself aloof from other people. You cannot please everyone; stick that in your mind. However, be likeable at least.
Engage yourself in things you excel. If you are good in singing, you can join your church choir. If you have an extraordinary skill in painting, you can share your talent in the art club at your school or volunteer to teach art to underprivileged children. Sharing your talent with others will certainly make you feel good. When you feel good in the inside, it will wash away your low self-esteem, brushing off the introvert in you.
Learn from others.If you find it hard to follow the other tips, try this one. When in a gathering or a party, watch how those extroverts start a conversation and how they act. However, this does not mean that you have to be their clone. Just learn a thing or two from them and you’re off. Just a little reminder, just because a certain thing or action looks good on them doesn’t necessarily mean that it fits you too, find and experiment which best suits you or else you will end up looking like a trying hard.
Give it a go and enjoy the results.
Remember Live Your Life By Choice, Not By Chance.
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The American Dream. The Pie in the Sky. It’s what everyone seems to be searching for. It’s an endless search for successful living and happiness. Do you look around observing how certain others seem to be living that life of success that you are after? Does that lifestyle seem to be slipping away the more you chase it?
Perhaps the answer to success is not in the chase. Perhaps the answer to successful living lies within the one who is doing the chasing. Let me explain.
What sets you apart from everyone else? Go ahead. List some areas in your life that are absolutely, without a doubt, totally different than anyone you know. What are some habits that you have and no one else can claim? They’re your habits. List them out. The more, the better.
Now, how many do you have? Five? Ten? Twenty?
There’s the answer to the eternal question of how to attain a successful life. Viola! That’s it! We can all go on now and live a life of happiness and eternal contentment.
Okay. Maybe it’s a little more involved than that. Just knowing how you’re different doesn’t make you successful. But knowing what to do with those differences is key. More specifically, four areas you can tap into, that you may not have thought of, may give you a much-needed boost toward your life of success.
1.Know Yourself
When you listed out your differences, you were setting yourself apart from everyone you know. That, in essence, is you. One of the main things that makes you unique is how you’re are different than everyone else. As a society, we are programmed to try and be like everyone else. Do not do this. Lock in on your differences. Claim them. Own them. Enhance them. You will soon be the one everyone else is looking at, wondering how you are so successful. Knowing your difference is knowing you.
2.Be Yourself
Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Actually stepping out and being someone different takes courage. It takes guts. Take a look at who you consider successful. Are they just like everyone else? No. They are the people who cared enough to jump out of the mold that everyone is trying to fit in. Refuse to be shoved into a mold. Don’t believe what you hear. Don’t believe anything, unless you question it. The mold-people are mindless and are led by someone else with a leash, which requires no thought process. Most of the time they are being led by another mindless, mold-person who is being led by another. It’s an endless and mind-numbing cycle. Do not fall into this. The best way to actually be yourself is to actually think for yourself. Develop your own opinions. Develop your own values. Strengthen your core.
3.Love Yourself
Once you know who you are and you have taken action to be yourself, do not be ashamed. You have been created for a purpose. Take pride in that fact. Finding your purpose (if you don’t already know it) is an adventure. There’s no reason you can’t (or shouldn’t) enjoy being you while on your adventure. Love is a verb. You should love yourself. Treat yourself to some things that you really enjoy. What do you like to do? When is the last time you did it? What is life if it isn’t an adventure to be enjoyed? Love it. Love yourself.
4.Share Yourself
If you want to feel good about yourself and who you are, share yourself with someone. (I’m not talking about something illegal or immoral. J) Give yourself to something you believe in. It may be helping children. You may go out and help clean up some neighborhood after a huge storm, hurricane or some natural disaster. You may attend a synagogue, church or some other place of worship. Maybe you can give some of your time there.
The point is to find a conviction; a deep-seeded belief and give of yourself. You will experience a type of chest-poked-out pride that can only leave a smile on your face so big, people will wonder what you’re up to. It’s one of the most rewarding feelings you can experience.
There you have it. There are four things that you can chase instead of the proverbial successful lifestyle. There’s a paradox here. Adopt and live these four things and you will “find” yourself closer to a successful life than you could imagine. The successful lifestyle we are all looking for is not in someone else. It’s not a bunch of secrets that only a few possess. It’s in you. It always has been.
Keep looking and living forward.
Remember Live Your Life By Choice Not By Chance.
.
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10 Tips to Becoming an Effective and Engaging Public Speaker
You are an expert in the field of forest management and resource conservation.
As guest speaker at the Boy Scouts’ jamboree however, you now find that despite your expertise and the importance of your talk, your audience seems uninterested; even slightly confused.Here lies the big difference between knowing a subject matter well and communicating it to others effectively.
These 10 helpful nuggets should help you get your message across.
1.KNOW YOU AUDIENCE
Be aware of the general demographic of your audience.The factors of age, educational attainment and economic background should dictate the level at which to design your talk.Your doctorate gobbledygook won’t be helpful to the rural agricultural workers waiting to hear you.In the same light, a graduate school audience may become bored with a simple linear presentation.Younger audiences may need conceptual statements to be broken down into concrete examples they can relate to.
2.LEVEL-OFF AT THE BEGINNING
·As you begin your talk, spend some time introducing the subject matter and your personal involvement in it.
·Use the introduction as an opportunity to define terms and spell-out any acronyms that may be specific to your field.
·Try to gauge topic awareness among members of your audience by asking for a show of hands on questions that begin with “How many of you have heard of…” or “How many of you have ever wondered about…”.This is also a good way of breaking the ice and engaging your listeners.
3.MAKE USE OF VISUAL AIDS WISELY
·In some instances, an image can speak more clearly than words.When appropriate, present photos to depict important aspects of your topic.When dealing with abstract ideas or the relationship between processes, show them a diagram to physically represent the interactions involved.
·Allow a slight pause, for the audience to absorb a visual.Once they’ve had a few seconds to take it in, you can continue speaking and they’ll be ready to listen to you again while mentally connecting the visual aid to your point.
·Avoid wordy PowerPoint slides that mimic verbatim what you’re already saying in your speech.Instead of enhancing the talk, the visual aid becomes redundant and tempts students to just read the slide instead of listen to you.
4.USE NOTECARDS WITH BULLET POINTS, DON’T MEMORIZE
·Outline the flow of your key points on note cards.Small index cards are better than whole sheets of paper because it’s easier to keep track of where you are in the talk.
·Use bullet points to highlight your ideas.Don’t write out entire sentences on your notes that you might be tempted to memorize.It’s easier to remember your outline and expound spontaneously if you memorize the ideas instead of the exact words
5.USE HUMOR IF SUITABLE, BUT BE TACTFUL
Everyone loves a laugh, so it may be helpful to inject some humor into your speech.Before doing so however, analyze the subject matter and check if it won’t be inappropriate.
If you choose to employ humor, make sure to remain tactful.Stay away from slanted jokes that may offend certain sub-sectors within your audience, such as gender, religion, race, politics and economic status.
Keep the comedy in check.Well-timed snippets may help you establish rapport with your audience, or make monotonous stretches a bit lighter.Too many laughs however may divert the audience’s focus from your key points.
6.MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT
Looking at members of the audience in the eye keeps them involved in your talk.Research has shown that information is more easily received when the listener has both visual and verbal contact with the speaker.Make sure to distribute your attention to audience members in different parts of the room.
7.SPEAK CLEARLY AND MODULATE YOUR VOICE
While the topic is all too familiar to you, it may be a new subject to your audience.Speak slowly and clearly, at a pace that allows your audience to follow your meaning.Make sure you speak loud enough to be heard by the person at the back of the room.For emphasis, briefly pause before and after important ideas or say key points twice before elaborating.
8.KNOW THE SUBJECT MATTER
Nothing beats knowing what you’re talking about inside and out.Research your facts and make sure you have a good grasp of the issues involved.Have a comprehensive understanding of your topic.Where it applies, be aware of both sides to a polarized discussion about your subject.Anticipate questions the audience might raise.
9.ENCOURAGE Q & A
To further nail down the message behind your speech, encourage questions and clarifications through an open forum after your talk.Before you begin the forum, set a time limit or a predetermined number of questions you can accommodate.You may want to discuss this beforehand with the organizers
to make sure that you can fit everything within the time allotted for you.
10.SUMMARIZE and DISTRIBUTE HAND-OUTS AFTER TALK
Before you end, summarize your most salient points and repeat the ideas you want your audience to take home with them.You can outline a summary in the form of a hand-out to be given to the audience afterwards.Don’t pass the hand-out into the audience before or during your talk t because you want them to listen to you first and not just be reading distractedly.
With these 10 pointers in mind, you’re on your way to becoming a much sought-after resource person, known both for your expertise in your field and your skill in communicating.More importantly, you can be sure that your message is getting across to your public loud and clear.
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There are three categories of people. The non-achievers, the achievers and there are the self-motivated people. Sometimes even the achievers may fail to do something but a self motivated individual draws inspiration from failures to make success stories. A self motivated person will always have his confidence levels shooting through the roof and the world is his oyster.
• Here are a few guidelines to keep your motivation high:
• Have a thorough understanding of yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, your dreams, aspirations etc. Self awareness is the first step towards self motivation. If you are aware of your limitations your goals are realistic and motivating.
• Choose tasks which are fun because boredom is the greatest enemy of motivation.
• Remember to reward yourself for each little achievement of yours.
• Stay in the company of positive and motivated people, because attitude is contagious.
• You must learn to take everything in your stride and laugh at yourself in all situations.
• Tension, anger frustration and stress deter self motivation.
• I hate working but the thought of the dollars which come with it, keeps me motivated. Sometimes you may have to do something which is not very enjoyable. If the result of the job is fruitful enough, use it to keep yourself motivated.
• Do not reach out for the moon at one go. You will only land up falling flat on your face. Break down the larger goals into smaller and realistic steps. Each small success will lead you to larger ones and you will finally reach the moon.
• Follow a healthy diet and get enough sleep. Healthy body always houses a healthy mind and only the one with a healthy mind is self motivated.
Be an optimist because optimism is the greatest self-motivator.
Self confidence is described as a positive state of being and is very important to achieve success. Learning to trust yourself is a key element: trust in your own attributes, your strengths, and your decision-making skills. And because we don’t really get everything we want in this world, self-confidence will also help you handle failure without breaking down.
Self Confidence is Faith
The very core of self confidence is faith. Believing in your own power to make things happen will provide you a real sense of self worth. Simply put, regardless of how tough the road to success is, you can gracefully overcome it if you have faith in yourself. This will provide you the feeling of self-worthiness, especially if you have finally reached your goals.
Self Confidence Is Finding Your Own Happiness
Being self confident is also all about discovering and doing what makes you happy. When you find where you are most at ease with your environment and your self, you become more a more efficient worker and level-headed thinker.
How to Live A Happy Life
• Live on purpose. Know why you continue living. Acknowledge them and find ways to make them alleviate your sense of well being. Find activities that will lift your morale, or things that will lead you to your real happiness.
• Find your happiness today. Why wait for someone to make you feel special and happy when you can find it today? Find happiness within you. After all, happiness all starts within yourself.
• Be responsible in running your life. As the adage says, ‘You are the captain of your own ship.’ Don’t let other people decide for you. Run your own life. Create emotions based from reality. You can find happiness by being responsible in your own actions and when failures come, you know no one to blame but you.
• Anticipate Happiness. Have a positive outlook in life. Having an optimistic attitude will help you find success and happiness all the more. The more you anticipate for good things to come, the more likely you can attain it.
• Act with Courage. Boldly take challenges and try to outsmart difficulties and challenges that may come your way. Be confident that despite of possible adversities, you will still manage to stand up a whole and a better person.
• Shape your connections. Try not to separate yourself from the others. There are times when being dependent with your friends helps a lot.
• Read and learn. Keep in mind that you also grow not only with the people you meet but also by the books that you read. Try to read inspirational books that showcase inspiring stories about success and happiness.
Try to find your own happiness and discover your inner self confidence. Take time to evaluate yourself and learn that happiness starts within you.
The first 10 to 20seconds are crucial in creating the best fist impression in your first meeting. People observe you from head to toe. They study your physical personality, demeanor, mannerisms, body language, your style or fashion, etc. It is therefore vital for you to make the best impression. Because once the impression is made, it is mostly irreversible. If you have made a good one, it is good; but if you have not, the damage is done. You may interest some and disappoint others. Most of us wish to make the best impression in others whether the meeting is personal or professional.
How do people assess you the first time they see you?
You are always appraised in initial business and social environments. When they see you for the first time, people notice your dress, your shoes, handbag and hairstyle, your body language, your mannerisms, etc. Certain elements contribute to making your first impression. They are: Physical appearance, body language, verbal communication and how well you perceive other people. Here are a few tips to make the best impression:
Physical appearance
• Try your best to look attractive
• Dress appropriately for the situation and profession
• Look poised
• Look economically well off in terms of time and money
• Choose a proper hairstyle or haircut
• Dress well
• If you are a woman, your hair should be worn away from your face and heels would make you look taller and slimmer
• Accessories such as watch, jewelry and handbags or briefcases should highlight your style along with elegance and quality.
Body language
• Enter a room with confidence and smile
• Maintain a good posture
• Make good eye contact with people you meet and hold it for a few seconds to create a warm connection
• Let your handshake be firm
• Maintain a distance of one-arm’s length between you and the other person while talking
• Do not wear heavy scented colognes or Deos
• Keep your breath fresh.
Verbal communication
• Remember names when new introductions are made. This is very important especially in business circles
• Be confident when you converse or while giving out your personal, business details
• Be sensitive about what topics you choose for small talk.
Perceiving others
Study the other person and try to learn his personality as soon as you could. You could exchange simple information that helps you to understand the energy levels and compatibility between the two of you.
In conclusion, your mastery in presenting yourself in appropriate style, your efficient communication and elegant body language and your sensitivity to others are the key elements that win over others with the best impression. If you study the above, I can honestly say that things will change for you, if you apply them.
Human life is a precious blessing and each day should be lived king size. I am asked quite often about the secret of my boundless joy and peace. All I say is that, I am high on life. I drink life to the lees because my life is completely in my control. We can definitely exercise control over the quality of our life by making the right choices.
To gain control over your life, you need to begin with the development of a complete understanding of yourself. Each of us is unique in our own right with very diverse thought processes, and a mind of our own. Never try to ape someone else because you are the best in simply being yourself. All you need is to understand yourself in all perspectives. Feel happy about all your positive traits and face your negativities with equal honesty. It is all about being at ease inside your own skin.
Once you are in control of yourself, you are prepared to handle all the surprises which life springs on us, every now and then. Try and gain as much knowledge and understanding of the world around. This will help you make intelligent decisions whenever you find yourself at crossroads.
Enjoy each moment of your day.
Help everyone in need, because it will make you feel good about yourself. Nurturing relationships will help you enjoy life better.
Whenever your mind is strangled by a shower of negative thoughts, try to divert your attention towards something pleasant.
Eat healthy and exercise well because you control your life only if you are in a strong frame of health.
Remember to be positive always, and you will never be down in the dumps again even after a break-up. Sometimes its easy to read this stuff, however it does work if you apply it.
Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change. Getting flunked grades make us realize that we need to study. Debts remind us of our inability to look for a source of income. Being humiliated gives us the ‘push’ to speak up and fight for ourselves to save our face from the next embarrassments. It may be a bitter experience, a friend’s tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves.
With the countless negativities the world brings about, how do we keep motivated? Try on the tips I prepared from A to Z…
A - Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
B - Believe in your self, and in what you can do.
C – Consider things on every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides.
D – Don’t give up and don’t give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, more than thrice before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation as your steering wheel.
E – Enjoy. Work as if you don’t need money. Dance as if nobody’s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you’ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.
F – Family and Friends – are life’s greatest ‘F’ treasures. Don’t loose sight of them.
G – Give more than what is enough. Where does motivation and self improvement take place at work? At home? At school? When you exert extra effort in doing things.
H – Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force.
I – Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don’t let other people to get the best of you. Stay out of toxic people – the kind of friends who hates to hear about your success.
J – Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
K – keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way to self improvement.
L – Learn to love your self. Now isn’t that easy?
M – Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes.
N – Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game.
O – Open your eyes. People should learn the horse attitude and horse sense. They see things in 2 ways – how they want things to be, and how they should be.
P – Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn repertoire and ways on how can we recover from our mistakes.
Q – Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate – are you going to be a quitter? Or a winner?
R – Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within us telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn’t raining when Noah build the ark.
S – Stop procrastinating.
T – Take control of your life. Discipline or self control jives synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self improvement.
U – Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second.
V – Visualize it. Motivation without vision is like a boat on a dry land.
W – Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self improvement.
X – X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on “extras” on your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on.
Y – You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you’re just going to spend it once.
Z – Zero in on your dreams and go for it!!!
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Boosting your self-esteem may be done in a variety of ways; from buying brand new shoes, changing your hairstyle, or helping an elderly cross the street. These matters usually come subjectively, as you personally give yourself affirmations for the little things you have done. Affirmations boost your self-esteem as they give you a sense of value and approval in yourself and the things that you do.
Affirmations are usually brief encouraging statements that you repeat over and over to yourself, which positively affect your psyche and boost your self-esteem. Affirmations may come from other people, when they give you compliments for making a sumptuous dinner or praise you for babysitting their two little boys over the weekend.
You can give yourself affirmations each day at any time to increase your self-esteem. It is a powerful tool, especially as you face new activities and stress. It enables you to manage tasks at a steady and controlled pace.
How do affirmations work?
1. Select your own affirmation. It could be something like, “I, Sarah, have great hair!” or “I, Greg, skipped that chocolate cookie and feel great!” or “I, Anne, look good in these tight jeans!” It’s best that you say your affirmations in front of the mirror as you repeat the sentence five to six times. Do this every morning as you wash your face or brush your teeth and every evening again as you repeat your routine. Stick with your affirmation for a month before moving on to another one.
Some other ways of saying affirmations are: (These are said while looking in the mirror)
“You approve of yourself.”
“You, David, approve of yourself.”
“I, George, approve of myself.”
“Randolph approves of himself.”
2. Choose one to a few friends whom you can exchange affirmations with whenever you meet. The good thing about this is they get to boost your confidence while you also increase theirs. Giving compliments is the most common form of this type of affirmation exchange. Sometimes you don’t have to coordinate with someone to pay you a compliment in return. Try praising someone about his new shirt or how good she is at badminton. You’ll soon realize affirmations from other people will just come naturally.
3. Make a list about the stuff you’re good at and a list of stuff you can’t change. Remember that you can be great at some things, but there are always matters that you can’t resolve or improve — so don’t fret trying to change. Instead, embrace and accept them because they are a part of you.
List all your talents and favorite activities, like singing, writing or cheering for a favorite band, because these can give your affirmations, from yourself and from others. You can always be good at doing something that you love. As for the stuff you can’t change, like your eye color or height, try to work around them and, instead, accentuate the areas with clothes or colors that bring out your best features.
The point is, you should give yourself affirmations in every aspect of your daily life, and may it be physical, mental, or social. You’ll appreciate yourself more in the process and boost your confidence and self-esteem.
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Laugh Your Way to the Top, and Make Others Laugh with You
Imagine a man—tall, dark, and handsome—with a dazzling smile, impeccable fashion sense, a hefty bank account, but humorless as a corpse. Alternatively, picture another, not quite as good-looking, not quite as rich, but funny as hell. Who do you think would attract more people to them if both were in the same room?
Perhaps the gorgeous guy would elicit a lot of attention at first. But good looks can only go so far in holding and keeping that attention. A great sense of humor can be a useful tool in endearing yourself to the crowd at large. It can break the ice among strangers and is a wonderful way to make friends. In some cases it can even be used as a powerful weapon. Humor, when unleashed with perfect timing, can be terribly disarming. To potential employers, it could mean a promising job offer for you. To the ladies, it is a massive turn-on, and you might as well be wearing a sign on your forehead that says, “Date me. You won’t be sorry.”
Wit is a sign of intelligence, and intelligence is very sexy and attractive. Like all other gifts and talents, however, not everyone is born with it. If you are one of the less endowed and humor-challenged, thankfully enough, there are ways to compensate. You can train yourself in the art of good humor by following these steps:
Read. Be aware of current events. Fill your head with things you can comment on, other than the weather, so that striking up a conversation wouldn’t be so daunting. Watch movies or shows with witty dialogue and commentary. Study how the actors and commentators deliver their lines. Learn from them. Do not copy them outright. Be original.
Timing is everything. Just a few seconds off and your attempt at flawless humor can get derailed in an instant. If your joke bombs, move on. Do not dwell on it. Do not prolong your agony, or worse, your listeners’ agony, by going into a lengthy dissertation about your intended punch line. Doing so will only worsen the situation and create an awkward atmosphere.
Know your crowd. Funny as you are, there is such a thing as inappropriate humor. If you’re speaking at a funeral, don’t launch into raunchy standup comic mode more fit for a stag party.
Do not resort to insulting and making fun of people as this is a surefire sign of weak humor and an even weaker mind. Unless, of course, the people in question are bumbling politicians and public figures who are just asking for it and who aren’t in any way related to any of your listeners, then by all means, fire at will. Focus on their misdeeds rather than flaws that can’t be helped. Say, “Looks like he’s winning the election. And looks like I’m moving to another country.” Don’t say, “That candidate is one ugly ^#@*!”
Be confident and be natural. Self-consciousness shows, believe it or not, and witty retorts don’t pack as much punch when you’re worrying too much about the manner of your delivery instead of just getting it out there in the open.
Practice. Stand in front of a mirror and talk to yourself. Forget about looking like a fool. This is a great way to get rid of your inhibitions and get comfortable with yourself. Think of it as a rehearsal of sorts. The more you do it, the more self-assured you’ll become. Remember, confidence—like wit and intelligence—is sexy, too.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at your own mistakes. Self-deprecating humor is actually quite charming and you can never go wrong with putting yourself down every once in a while. Use your common sense though. Don’t ruin the moment by saying something like, “I wet my bed till I was fifteen. Isn’t that funny?”
It is mentioned in the Koran, “He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.” We’re not promising you paradise, but at least it’s a start.
